On a target in Western Iraq, some distance from Ramadi, we had assaulted the objective and taken control of the buildings we had interest in. We were hunting down what we called a “facilitator”, an individual who may not fight themselves, but provided money, training, weapons, or supplies and assistance to fighters.
It was 02:00 in the morning, and it was hot. Even at that hour, the temperatures were over 100 degrees F. After reaching our limit of advance (LOA), we branched into smaller individual teams to process the target. We had inside security, outside security, snipers on the rooftops, Sensitive Site Exploitation (SSE) teams inside looking for telephones, computers, notebooks, and in some cases DNA of persons of interest, and lastly, the Tactical Questioning team asking the hard questions.
On the first twelve objectives in Iraq, I ran the Tactical Questioning Team. At this time, I was walking through the target building to ensure all the assaulters were actively engaged in some form of work or another. I was passing through a hallway from one room to another when I came across my medic, Tim. He was looking a little rough, so I stopped to see how he was doing. He was basically a heat casualty.Suffering from heat exhaustion, his head was swimming a little bit. I grabbed another medic and told him to initiate an IV on Tim and ensure he was cared for properly, because we were walking off target for a distance to meet the helicopters. Tim had to remove his body armor to cool off, and asked me, “Do you think it’ll be ok for me to remove my body armor?” I replied with, “Yes, we are inside and protected, and you are not going to cool off unless you take off the body armor and expose your skin for a few minutes”, to which he began to remove his body armor and equipment.
The other assault force medic dumped two liters of Ringer’s Lactate solution into Tim’s veins, and he seemed to cool off, recover, and was ready to continue. The few minutes of exposure, cooling off time, self-care, and medical care set Tim right, and it allowed him to complete the mission in a stellar way. All in, it took about 30 minutes. The assault force took another 45 minutes to complete the SSE and other tasks, and the time it took to care for him had no impact on the overall mission.
Afterward, I analyzed what had taken place and arrived at several conclusions.
Body armor is necessary in combat. It protects you from the threat of enemy bullets and bombs and allows you to function in a hostile environment with some level of protection. This provides some comfort in spite of being in a potentially dangerous circumstance.
But the contrary is also true. Inside the building, after the threat had been eliminated, Tim’s body armor became a new type of threat to him.
It was retaining heat and sweat, not allowing Tim’s body the ability to cool off and recover. The very piece of equipment that was so vitally important in one circumstance became the very thing that was causing him to become a liability. In some cases, it is more important to take off the body armor than to keep it on. Of course, this is completely situational, and the right principles must be followed. But in the right place, at the right time, surrounded by the right people and the right protection, removing body armor is not only the right thing to do, but necessary.
Why would I ever remove my Body Armor?
In our society today, it is commonly frowned upon to allow yourself to be vulnerable. We can’t let our guard down for a moment without appearing to be weak, incompetent, or insecure. Society says we must conduct ourselves as impermeable, indestructible leaders, invulnerable to any and all sorts of attacks or displays of humanity. We are taught that if we show any level imperfection or show that we have a heart, we aren’t competent or capable.
As a result, we have an entire generation of leaders, parents, and people living their lives wearing “emotional” body armor.
We are terrified to say, “I don’t know”, “I can’t do that”, or ask for help. We are concerned that we’ll lose influence or the respect of our peers and subordinates if we falter even once. This is so far from the truth. In most cases our peers, subordinates, and even our leaders, would absolutely respect us and allot us more influence if we display authenticity.
If we act in a genuine way, it gives them permission to also act in a genuine manner.
Modeling this type of behavior allows them to relax and be human. Obviously, I place a high level of value on competence and capability. My career was based on the idea that selecting the right people and training them to the highest possible level is the key to success. But I also believe that some people will never have the capability to lead well.
There is a balance between being competent, capable, and authentic that will allow a leader to influence their people much more profoundly than playing the role of a robotic, non-feeling, automaton, or the tough, battle-hardened executive. People respect authenticity and genuine feeling. And ultimately, they trust an authentic leader.
“Authenticity requires a certain measure of vulnerability, transparency, and integrity.” Janet Louise Stephenson
What then are the rules for taking off your “body armor”, being authentic and genuine?
1. You can’t please everyone, so stop trying
Genuine people are who they are. They know that some people will like them, and some won’t. And they’re OK with that. It’s not that they don’t care whether other people will like them but simply that they’re not going to let that get in the way of doing the right thing. They’re willing to make unpopular decisions and take unpopular positions if that’s what needs to be done.
2. Do not be quick to judge
A mind is like a parachute – it only works if it is open. Having an open mind is crucial in the workplace, as approachability means access to new ideas and help. To eliminate preconceived notions and judgment, you need to see the world through other people’s eyes. This doesn’t require you to believe what they believe or condone their behavior; it simply means you quit passing judgment long enough to truly understand what makes them tick. Only then can you let them be who they are.
3. Authentic people forge their own path
Genuine people don’t derive their sense of pleasure and satisfaction from the opinions of others. This frees them up to follow their own internal compasses. They are comfortable with who they are and don’t pretend to be anything or anyone else. They are self-guiding, and their direction comes from their own principles and values. They do what they believe to be the right thing, and they’re not swayed by the fact that somebody might not like it.
4. They are not territorial
We’ve all worked with people who constantly hold something back, whether it’s knowledge or resources. They act as if they’re afraid you’ll outshine them if they give you access to everything you need to do your job. Genuine people are unfailingly generous with whom they know, what they know, and the resources they have access to. They want you to do well more than anything else because they’re team players and they’re confident enough to never worry that your success might make them look bad. In fact, they believe that your success is their success!
5. They are trustworthy
People gravitate toward those who are genuine because they know they can trust them. It is difficult to like someone when you don’t know who they really are and how they really feel. Genuine people say what they mean, and mean what they say. When they make a commitment, they keep it. People trust leaders when they don’t feel like there is something they are hiding. And people trust leaders when the leader’s action match their words.
6. They are not ego-driven
Genuine people don’t make decisions based on their egos because they don’t need the admiration of others to feel good about themselves. Likewise, they don’t seek the limelight or try to take credit for other people’s accomplishments. They simply do what needs to be done without saying, “Hey, look at me!”
7. They focus on the person in front of them
When genuine people commit to a conversation, they focus all their energy on the conversation. You will find that conversations are more enjoyable and effective when you immerse yourself in them. When you robotically approach people with small talk and are tethered to your phone, this puts their brains on autopilot and prevents them from having any real affinity for you. Authentic people create connection and find depth even in short conversations. Their genuine interest goes a long way to build trust and open communications.
Take some of the pressure off yourself as a leader. With the appropriate people, in the appropriate setting, at the appropriate times, take off your body armor. Allow some people inside, allow them to get closer to you. There is always risk involved with trusting people, but when trusting the right people, the rewards outweigh the risks! Ultimately, your influence will be far greater, and your inner circle of trusted peers and subordinates will grow.
As a result, your leadership experience will be much more fulfilling over your career.